I am mine
I have to be born by 1930 and peak
She was born a woman, of almost illegitimate mother
I inherit the mandate of ancestors
But she was born curious, intelligent, and without understanding barriers.
His destiny was marked from the womb,
With the generational mandate of old Europe.
Secondary already a conquest,
Maybe a faculty, everything came together,
And then to follow the mandate of their sex, marry, procreate,
Mother, wife, and also Argentina.
There is, the deceptive autonomous neuronal chemistry!
! That does not stop your intelligence from waking up!
Puberty attacked her without mercy or warning,
He was only warned of the demons and their harassment,
Nobody informed him that he could feel joy.
Being a girl of 20,
Hastily disinformation, control and confinement,
Dead of curiosity and eager to be its owner,
Single key in the web woven by so many generations of congeners
The ones I had dreamed of not imitating.
I take the chosen man’s arm,
The, first, the only one, the one that was animated
And the one that she without much to compare with accepted.
Childish, ignorant of all his future intimacy,
She walked triumphantly in her white dress, changing her master,
Only this time he gave the soul along with the body.
And who wanted to be his without even noticing,
In a magical instant I stop being of their parents,
I stop being her,
And it was all from Him from now on.
She gave birth to her first children and only she knows if she knew the joy
It was then when, partly believing his duty fulfilled,
He was encouraged to ask for food for his spirit.
He asked for a university degree, psychology, he said.
Leftist, he said, your career is me and your children.
Only she knows how she convinced him.
He accepted as natural the costs of his choice,
It was the first blows,
His master had to show that what is granted costs.
She must have seen it as a small concession,
Accustomed as I was to years of abuse.
He knew then that his duty would never be fulfilled,
That should add duties from now on,
And that his contributions would never add up in his master’s equation.
And so he did.
That woman studied, continued to father children,
Attending a house and satisfying a husband.
And despite doing so, he also continued to receive blows,
Because that’s the way it should be,
This holds the power of one person over another,
Fear, fear, disqualification.
It is unfolded, like all women who choose it,
Attending an increasingly insecure and demanding husband.
He made an effort with preserves, with sewing, daily tasks
And at night with everything ready,
And the children, adults them or real children in dreams,
She read, studied, and slowly
Without even being aware of what was happening in it,
It was transformed.
Today, she knows that there are more direct ways to get where she wanted,
Or that perhaps the order of occurrence of events can be modified,
This is, study, marriage, marriage, children …
But did she have that option?
Today there are marked children.
There are older ones with more memories, and more lacks,
Some lucky with fortitude or forgetfulness,
There are minors with almost no memory
And with deficiencies supplied by brothers who knew how to protect them.
And in the middle the time that everything erases.
All of them, who are not worthy of judging,
Except when they face similar disjunctives
In front of their partners and their own children.
It is a new century.
She is not the same
Now it’s harvest time
What will she have sown?
Who was born there in 1930
Did I achieve what I wanted?
It was worth the price
What has an hour after such a terrible struggle,
besides the achievement of having finished it?
What was up that mountain?
Is she finally her?
We fight in life to be our owners,
And in the process as a tree with its branches,
We go through seasons of life, desposeyéndonos.
And in the end even at sunset we realize,
That being our owners is that,
To have us on the road stripped to the bone.
To intuit that I am mine, if I have managed to be part of each of them,
Can she say who knows …
Dispossessed in me, encompassed, absorbed my essence in them
I am mine, I am theirs, so I went from mine, because of what I leave to them,
That is mine and it was mine, because I have been mine and not of anyone,
Or at least in my love, only of them.